2.14.2009

happy valentines day :: not-so-sweet

THESE WERE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
_______________
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
______________
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
_________________
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
_________________
I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.
__________________
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so Are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
____________________
My love, you take my breath away.
hat have you stepped in to smell this way?
______________________
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
_______________
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
_________________
Hope you have a Happy Valentine's Day, romantic or not!

3 comments:

Joanna Goddard said...

hilarious! i love this xo

Kelly said...

HILARIOUS! Thanks!

Dave and Lindsey said...

LOVE IT! Thanks for sharing.

 
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